Fast Forward to delivery – I really believe in holistic ways of life but I also know that modern western medicine is a significant reason people live beyond 30 years old and are less likely to die during childbirth!

I had a vision of delivering my son in a bathtub in my living room but my husband/ neurotic-ism quickly burst that bubble! I am sure it is wonderful to deliver a baby sans drugs in a portable pool in the comfort of your own home but I also think delivering your baby in a hospital with an epidural is just as magical and probably a lot less stressful for everyone who loves you. As soon as I walked into Mount Sinai and checked in, I requested the big E – epidural. That doesn’t mean I had a fake or painless delivery.

MAJOR PET PEEVE ALERT When women say they had a natural delivery, meaning they pushed their child out of their vagina with no painkillers, drives me bananas.   Natural delivery is just getting the baby out – People with c-sections or vaginal deliveries with drugs don’t deserve to feel they had unnatural deliveries, do they? Motherhood is hard enough. Can we at least be supportive???

The best is yet to come -- it truly is magical bringing home that little nugget you cooked for 9 months but it is also one of the hardest experiences physically and emotionally. Seeing my son and hearing him cry for the first time was probably one of the most beautiful moments of my life but minutes later when the nurse shoved him on my breast, I was overwhelmed with a sense of “holy crap I am responsible for feeding, nurturing and taking care of this little human forever.”

As humans and mothers, we can have opposing feelings simultaneously and that doesn’t mean we are bad moms. I can be over flooded with joy and sheer panic at the same time!

I am also really excited to share my breastfeeding journey because it was hard as hell and after making the decision based on my health, supply and sanity to stop, I was riddled with guilt and felt as though I was a selfish bad mom who was poisoning my son with organic formula even when I know the amount of love I give my child surpasses inattentive moms’ breast milk.

As a new mother I had no idea how personal and challenging feeding your newborn would be. I thought I would seamlessly breastfeed for a year and never have to worry about buying a box of formula. I am so grateful to the Honest Company for reaching out and asking me to be a part of their Feeding Story campaign in the hopes to inspire other mamas to become more comfortable and confident in how they choose to feed their babies.

I cannot stress this enough– BREASTFEEDING IS REALLY HARD FOR MANY WOMEN...and STOPPING DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A BAD MOM. Or NEVER breastfeeding and having n0 guilt about it also DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A BAD MOM! 

Please from this moment onward, if you know someone who recently had a baby, try to not judge how moms are feeding their child and don’t brag about the magic of breast milk and downfalls of formula. As I said before, motherhood is hard enough– can we just all be supportive? I stopped breastfeeding at around 2 ½ months (I know it doesn’t matter because I didn’t hit the 3 month mark), but by writing this blog I am giving myself permission to let go! Again, thank you to the Honest Company for starting this extremely pertinent and necessary conversation about how we nourish our little ones!

Stay tuned for more of my unfiltered journey as a mom!

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