Lately, I have become increasingly aware of how self-critical women can be. Stereotypically, compared to men, women can do more “back stabbing” or be labeled as “catty,” but I think as a gender our bigger battle is that we stab ourselves.
Disclaimer—I am generally speaking here but it appears some women have a habit of downplaying accomplishments and attributing success to luck or being #blessed. We rarely confidently say,
“I earned this” or “My boss is lucky to have me on his/her team.”
The same holds true for body image. Women can go right to-
“I feel so fat…I can’t wear a bathing suit until I loose a few more pounds.”
We shame ourselves-
“Why did I drink that third glass of wine?” “Why did I ….”
Instead of embracing who we are at that given moment and not pining to be something else.
These are not just my observations as a bystander, these thoughts occur in my head too.
Another situational example highlighting the difference in female versus male self-perception is the job interview. A woman attends completely prepared, punctual and ready to seize the job. After the interview (despite rocking it) she questions her performance and self-doubt looms in. A man can attend the same interview, be less prepared and leave assuming he will be hired and that the interviewee would be lucky to have him.
What if women adopted a new sense of purpose, confidence and a shame free mindset? What if you drank a little too much or maybe were not as prepared for something but instead of the shame and guilt you went with it.
“I had such a fun evening, and I indulged and it was worth it.” “I did my best on that interview and I feel confident about it.”
Becoming aware of my tendency to go right to self-judgement and listening to friends (who I admire) share some of their inner thoughts has helped to re-train my mindset.
I dedicate this post to all the women out there who inspire me daily with their honesty and authenticity!
Let Us Be Our Biggest Advocates Not Our Harshest Critics.